Monday, July 22, 2002
Monday, July 22, 2002Why do I have to be up? Why?
Sleep! Only wanna sleep! :(
State: regret at the brim.
Alcohol Units: zero.
Current Status: whiteGapT. pink BR skirt. deep pink flips. passive eyes with a frown. :(
Summer Is: ...finding out, appreciating who you love. and SHOWING it.
also found very very ugly pictures of drunk self on tak bau's computer while snooping for porn. conniving of an excuse to reformat his computer [ie. a virus. better yet, a fire].. either that, or conniving of ways to kill him before he leaves for hongkong. ...one day left.
i reveal my dark side..
also, i packed and ate a lunchbox in the cluster. i am a fob. good thing no one was here to see... anymore. good thing i didnt jump the gun and then run into shorty! so now i feast.. i am also trying not to sing too loud.. what a sinful existence. heaven must be somewhat like this. good food, good music, and air condition. it's 50 degrees below freezing tho.. i think my leg hair just grew a mile. sexxyyyy..
i seldom get mad. i dont really know why. i guess i always try to make up excuses for the party on the other side. or offer too many opportunities for their explainations. sometimes i beat myself up for not standing up cuz im too coward to cause a scene. but im also glad that ive never said mean words out of frustration. i feel good knowing i have never intentionally [however unintentional it might seem afterwards] attacked anyone with words..
i let the cat outta the bag this weekend. i blew the lid on a secret ive known for a long time. i did it because i was fed up. ..and now i regret it. i forgot sometimes there are somethings people just cant get over... especially the ones you cannot even begin to forgive yourself for. no matter what you want to believe. ..and i, stupid clumsy ungrateful dick of a human being, exposed it! why am i such a bitch. WHY! WHY!!? WHHHHYYYYYY?!?!?!??!!! i'd do anything to be able to go back to pretending i didnt know, let alone remember. i'd do anything to take it back.. if i only could. i cannot forgive myself for this. ever. EVER!
for a few days i couldnt tell if i made the right decision. but the overbearing mound of regret lets me know i fucked up. no matter how hard i try, there will always be mistakes. once again, i am wrong. .. wrong and heartbroken.
what to do.. what to do... |*(
on an even gloomier note, i think a mosqito stung me in my ear. it itches, but when i touch it it hurts! SO MUCH! :(
I also lost Saied's orange highlighter. i hope he never finds out. ..but i think i'm going to have to come clean soon.
But most importantly, i lost my red pencil case. one of my bao beis. i am sad.sad.sad!
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home