archive of excess

Monday, July 08, 2002

Monday, July 08, 2002

blog something longer in length, but adhere by no promises of content.

Time: after my workout.
Place: the oh-so-glam cyert cluster.
Who: me dumbass.
What: aim. xanga. mulberry. explorer.
Wear: baby blue af sports. timberland sneaks. red bikini top. black vneck layered.


i walked around the university shoppe today and found no traces of my [in]famous hooded black carnegie mellon university sweatshirt. if you see someone walking around with it... rip it off their backs and give it to meee!! but for now, the memory is lost forever. ...along with it, my sweatshirt.

so ill fill yall in on my living headquarters and how its going with my roomies. they walk around half naked building stuff. ruff! ruff! such men. hahahaa.. i kid.

on the way to working out i realized that some men look spectacularly seductive in their spectacles. i tried to figure out why this is since it seems everyones running on contacts for sake of vainity. perhaps its the notion of confronting the man in spectacles and ripping them off and releasing the beast inside! hahahahahaaa.. i kiddin! i crack myself up sometimes. even if no one else. even when im on the road by myself. nuts.

ps. fellow drunk housemates came to visit. an interesting time for ALL in the cluster im sure.
v: hes drunk.
s: :: thumbs up ::
me: wheres glenn?
v: hes home.
s: building his desk!
me: uh.
s: maybe thats not a good idea..
s: we might have to bandage him later.
hahahahaa.. ok. -_-..

lately, i noticed everyone has decoys. we all have emotional decoys in our lives. whether it be our faking it to care about someone else, or worse, catering to pride pretending to care about someone else infront of the someones we truly do care about. to validate an existance outside of the emotional realm dominated by your somebodysomebodys. struggling to prove to them, to us, that we, plainly, have a life. lusting to deceive them, yet weeping in the corner when it becomes reality. `as if this satisfaction would somehow be a catalysis to the destruction of the barrier to our own stability.

in the mean time, my ridiculous opinions are as follows: while in our self-indulging phase of recovery, it seems convient to spoil ourselves in our own misery, neglecting our decoys sensitivity, identical to our own. stop fronting. but most importantly, stop lying to yourself. cheap lies take reality for granted. and whats real, whether you realize or not, will be. but, it could very well be everything that matters. if you let it. everything only happens for a reason if you learn to make the best out of it. and the truth: could be just what you need.

so what should we do now then? amy says, either tell them how you really feel, or get the fuck over it. only then, will you own yourself. dont self destruct. its your life, take the the driver seat.

when life gives you lemons, add vodka.

... oh yea, and better served cold.


ok, that was fun. whats next??

posted by Pink Starberries @ 3:38 PM