Sunday, December 15, 2002
curent status: pot belly of noodle soup.
state: .. a bit more empty.
i remember things back to when i was 2, breaking out in spanish and bringing in 2 homebaked cakes for my birthday at school. i remembered everything i was taught. and i always remembered to follow through.
but sometime in the last year i stopped seeing.
i met my first bestfriend when i was 13. we met the summer after 8th grade. it was my first time at summer camp. it only lasted for less than a month [and our friendship not long after].. but in the span of one month, she taught me to think for myself.
and in the story of life there is a chapter about a girl named jen, from thousand oaks california, who flew across the nation one summer, went to summer camp in bryn marw pennsylvania, and passed on the gift of sight. and i remembered her still.
today was quite a different day. i woke up from a dream that touched my senses, but left me paralyzed in response. i walked with heartach today. i searched for refuge.
and on the way home i saw the church's mass begin. as i began to walk away, its bell tolled. i walked up the steps and took a schedule. as i turned my back to leave, i found myself standing in the alter alone, my heart igniting with desperation.
.. i left mass a little earlier tonight.
change must be synonyms with life.
taken for granted was everything behind being here today. all the people in love. all the things mama said. all the fortitude from being your own worst critic. all the courage in picking yourself up to move on a little stronger, .. wasted because you couldnt stop crying ..
dry your eyes babygirL.
goodness prevails. and light, brighter in the dark.
so shine on.
and just like that, .. i remembered i know the way.
if you're learning - you dont have to know.
" it is NEVER too late to be who you might have been. " - g.elliot.
ps. note-to-self : stop obsessively checking blackboard grades.
--On Sunday, December 15, 2002 Jennifer Huei-Fen Lin <@.com> wrote: Um, I found this e-mail address by searching "Amy Yuan Carnegie Mellon." Is this the Amy Yuan I met at Bryn Mawr the summer after our 8th grade? I hope so...I was listening to a mixtape you made me today and was just reflecting on the past, and thought I'd reopen up communication between us, as it seems so sad to me to not at least be in touch with you via e-mail. I don't have your mailing address on me, so this beats sending you a Christmas greeting card via snail mail with no address! haha. I know this is such old news, but I believe it's never too late to make amends to the past. We were saying we hoped I could travel to PA again, or meet you at Walt Disney World. I don't remember ever explaining that I couldn't realistically travel about to see you again, so, I'm explaining now. I couldn't travel wherever I wanted. I went to PA that summer because my mom pressured me to do an educational program, which she probably wanted me to do for the sake of being able to put it on my resume or something of that nature. Luckily, I met you and we had fun and it didn't matter that I was pressured into going! :) Anyway, it's been so many years, but I hope that you had figured out we just couldn't maintain our friendship due to circumstances, and that if you didn't, this satisfies a small portion of our teenage memories ;) Do you remember you put Beatle songs on the mixtape? I haven't listened to them for a couple of years until today. It's really nice to hear John's voice. :) Anyway, I hope you're doing well, and I hope this is the right e-mail address!!! Warmest wishes, Jen |
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